Friday Funnies--Arranged Marriage Edition

The funniest story from this week is from my own 5-year-old, who already knows who she's going to marry.

And has a 1st-runner-up in the event her first choice cannot meet his obligations.

There is one boy in Ainsley's class who she has adored since the first week of kindergarten. His name is Teddy, and he is second only to her BFF Noelle in her school-day affections. She's been telling me for a while that she's going to marry him someday, and once I met him at a class event, I gave him my early endorsement as a good candidate to be the future Mr. Junior Cranky. He is one of the sweetest little kindergarten munchkins I have ever met, and he introduced himself to me by saying, "I really like Ainsley." You gotta love that.

He gets two thumbs up from my mother, too. When she went to the Grandparents' Day event, she witnessed Teddy and Ains in action. She said they just randomly got up from their tables during the gingerbread house decorating and hugged each other. She said it was just about the cutest thing she had ever seen, because it seemed so sincere. Since then, though, I've been hearing alarm bells. Five might be a little too young for PDA.

Last Friday I dropped Ainsley off at Mom's for some Mamaw-and-me quality time. Mom asked Ains about Teddy, and Ainsley's answer was a little alarming.

"Well, I used to think I was going to marry Teddy, but now he says he might not be able to marry me because he might marry Evie, but if that happens, I guess I'll marry Anthony, if he doesn't marry Noelle first."

Mom and I just looked at each other, amazed. We were just joking around calling Teddy her "boyfriend." But apparently she's given this some thought, and apparently there's some playground drama. Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of their lives. Or is it more like As the Merry-Go-Round Turns?

We've gotten several unprompted updates on the whole marriage thing during bathtimes this week. The last time she talked about it was with the hubby, and at first we laughed about it. Ha ha! Isn't that cute? Then, after further review...well, just listen for yourself.

"I really want to marry Teddy, but he wants to marry Morgan now, and Noelle said she's going to marry Anthony, even though he said he would marry me, so I might have to marry Cole now."

"Ainsley, you're too young to worry about that."

"But I LOVE boys! I want to marry them!"

Crap.

Lock the doors. Bolt the windows. Hide the keys. We've got a boy-crazy one.

We're going to have to keep her on house arrest until she's 20.