If I Give You Some Money, Will You Please Stop Airing Those Commercials?

I've been sick, and when I get sick, I get weepy.

When I get run-down and under the influence of antibiotics and codeine-laced cough syrup, all it takes is a sad look from Ainsley, or a harsh word from a co-worker, or even just a particularly melancholy view from my bedroom window to set me off.

Saturday, all it took was a commercial.

I've grown immune to the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials. They're brutal, and that damn song gets me every time, but I've seen the same sad dogs and cats enough to not dissolve when I see it.

The Humane Society's commercial, though, caught me completely off guard. I wasn't even really watching it; I was trying to squeeze in a workout during Ainsley's swim practice, even though I felt like finding a quiet corner and crashing. I was feeling better, but still sleep-deprived from too many nights being woken up by my own coughing fits. I was half-heartedly doing whatever simulated human activity you're supposed to do on an elliptical when the commercial came on to the big-screen TV right in front of me. I had my remote tuner thingy tuned to a completely different channel, but it didn't matter; the darn commercial had titles playing over the various photos and videos, and I couldn't look away.

Images of dogs and cats flashed on the screen along with titles telling us the horrors that have befallen that particular animal. The lucky ones had "only" been abandoned. I have no idea what song was playing in the background since I wasn't listening; I can imagine it was something musically engineered to make animal lovers cry.

Before I knew it I was on the verge of ugly-crying right there in front of a couple dozen strangers. I was able to hold back audible sobs, but I did have to pretend that my eyes were sweating from my strenuous walking/jogging/hiking/whatever-the-heck-it-is-you're-doing-on-an-elliptical.

So, Humane Society of the United States--if I give you some money, will you please stop showing commercials like this?