Tuesday, November 6, 2012


There I was, showering at our family rec center after a Friday-night workout, basking in the afterglow of making myself exercise when I really wanted to be home watching an old episode of The X-Files and drinking a Magic Hat #9. I turned off the water, reached an arm out to the towel hook...

...and realized I left my towel out in the common area of the women's changing room when I stopped to get my clean clothes out of the locker. Motherlover.

I had a few options:

1. Run out of my private shower room nekkid and wet and not only offend my own modest sensibilities but also any poor woman or girl-child who happened to be minding her own business out in the locker room;

2. Beckon one of the 8-and-under girls who just finished swim practice and ask her to fetch my towel and bring it to the old naked lady in the shower, which would probably get my teaching license revoked;

3. Put my clean post-workout clothes on over top of my sopping skin long enough to retrieve my towel and make them effectively unwearable and make my drive home and trip to our favorite pizza joint kind of awful;

4. Throw on my scrungy workout gear, which was just...GROSS, and wander out both wet and sort of disgusting and cancelling out the cleanliness of my shower just to get the flipping towel I can't believe I forgot in the flipping first place.

I went with 4. And still got strange looks from onlookers. And wanted to get another shower but didn't have time because Ainsley was getting out of swim practice herself in five minutes. So really it was a great start to the weekend and set a tone of vulnerability that lasted through Sunday.

Because is there a more vulnerable feeling in the world than being wet and nude and separated from your towel in a place that's not your home? I am not sure there is.

I know there isn't a life lesson or poignant thought in this but tomorrow is election day and we all need to read something that isn't political commentary or fear mongering or "Your guy sucks and if he wins America will collapse into itself and land headfirst into the tenth circle of hell." Did the thought of me stranded naked in a public shower take your mind off Obama/Romney for just a minute? Yes? You're welcome. Now go vote.

No comments: