Tuesday, November 27, 2012

They're Small, But I'd Really Like To Keep Them

Dear God/Earth Mother/Supreme Being/The Force:

Hi! Remember me? I haven't been to church for a while, and I wrote a blog post about a year ago talking about my long history of not being really sure what your true nature is, but you and I both know (because you know everything, after all) that I do believe someone/something listens and responds to prayers, and that sincere pleas to whatever the guiding force in the universe is do have the power to influence that force which surrounds and binds us. So, to that effect, I want to offer up a serious plea for the health and well-being of my right breast.

Tomorrow I have my third breast MRI this year because something pesky keeps lighting up in the right one, a small area whose normality or abnormality cannot be confirmed or denied by further ultrasound or mammography. There doesn't seem to be a lump there, but when I am inside that scary, noisy, claustrophobic machine and get injected with contrast, it makes something in my right boob light up like a Christmas tree.

And while that's awfully festive to look at, I'd be lying if I said it didn't cause me mild to moderate anxiety despite reassurances from various medical professionals that it's probably not malignant. Especially since these medical professionals keep wanting to look at my right breast every three months. My girls do not really stand on their own merits, so the fact that someone wants to keep seeing them without being legally bound to do so by the bonds of marriage is a bit...troubling.

So here's the deal, God--next week when the results come back, instead of the person on the other end of the phone telling me there's an area of enhancement, I'd like to hear that the scan was normal. Pretty, pretty please with pink bras on top.

My family and I have been through a lot in 2012. I mean, a lot. I had the strength once to handle a cancer diagnosis, and if push came to shove I think I have one more in me. If that's your will. Though let me just say I'd really rather not have to, but like the chick Bono sings about in that one song, you move in mysterious ways. But I don't have another cancer diagnosis in me at this time. If this is your plan for me, I'd really rather we schedule it for a future date when I'm not still so tired, heartsick, and full of raw grief. Maybe sometime in 2046? I don't have anything planned for that year yet.

I know you're getting a lot of pleas right now, what with Sandy and the holidays and a fiscal cliff and that whole Mayan calendar thing and all. And my little (very little) area of enhancement probably isn't that important to you. But it's really, really important to me. And to a family that has already weathered some pretty big storms themselves this year.

Thanks in advance for your consideration in this matter. And might I add that your sunrises this fall have been truly outstanding. You outdid yourself, and it did not go unnoticed.


That Girl In Kentucky

And then I have to add this. We were watching Monday's The Daily Show last night, and Jon Stewart made a plea to God for peace between Israel and Hamas, and he also made a Bono/"Mysterious Ways" reference. And since that show aired before I posted this, you're probably thinking I was influenced by Jon. While I am frequently under the influence of Jon Stewart, I had not seen that yet when I wrote this, but am thinking it's proof we just might be soul mates. Call me, Jon! Maybe?

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