My MRI results came back and, to paraphrase Tangina from Poltergeist...
This breast is clean.
Though when Tangina said, "This house is clean," she was totally wrong, and there was still that big, white skeleton-spider-ghost thing guarding the kids' bedroom door, and the pool was still technically full of bodies. So it really was not clean. That might not be the best reference. I hope her shaky criteria for "clean" never applies to any of my body parts.
So I'll start over:
No signs of cancer at this time. Whatever has been flashing since last January has stopped its light show. Nothing to see here--move along. These are not the boobs you're looking for.
Normal feels really, really great.