Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Mayan Apocalypse Bucket List

I really, really think we will be here on 12/21/12. I do. But I am not one to let the threat of a possible apocalypse go uncelebrated.

Maybe I just want an excuse to party like it's December 20th. Apocalypse Eve, if you will. But I've been thinking that if there is a chance those crazy Mayans were right, there are a few things I'd like to enjoy one last time. You know, just in case.

Of course, I have limited resources and energy to devote to this pre-apocalypse shindig. So think of this as a lazy, middle-class American working mom's apocalypse bucket list. Fun, but budget-minded, and using ingredients you probably already have in your pantry!

Here's my "enjoy life for one last day" plan for Apocalypse Eve:

1. Get up at 5am, go to work.*
* This is not really on any sane person's bucket list unless followed by the words, "and tell everyone to f--- off." But it's our last day before Christmas break and the only way I can skip is if the Mayans are a day off. I will say that I would actually want to see some of the people I work with one last time before we all go poof, though I'd rather spend the morning of my last day on earth with a soy hazelnut latte watching the sun rise from my front porch. And rejoice over the chipmunks tunneling under said porch, because surely if the world ends they're going with it.

2. Deny no chocolate that is offered. This is not the day to diet, people.

3. Hug my kid extra tight when she gets off the bus.

4. Work out.
(I debated over this one, and yeah, I would go for a run on my last night on earth. I kinda love exercising. I know, I can't believe it either.)

5. Have Chipotle for dinner. And what the hell--get the guac on it.

6. Have a Unibroue La Fin du Monde. Which translates to "the end of the world." Yay for ironic drink choices!

8. Listen to some of my favorite songs*.
*Including "MmmBop." Admit it, you would miss that song.

9. Go downstairs to find some of my favorite passages from some of my favorite books, like To Kill a Mockingbird, Absalom, Absalom!, and Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. Give up because my home library is a mess and head back upstairs to watch "D--- in a Box" and an episode of Breaking Bad.

10. Fall asleep with the Christmas lights on--live dangerously!

Yeah, so planning for the end of the world looks an awful lot like a Friday night in my house. I am not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Either I'm already living the dream, or the dream is as dead as the ancient Mayans.

Oh, well. Pass the Munchos, open another bottle of Belgian-style ale, and party like there's no tomorrow. But rinse the bottle and put it in the recycling bin afterwards. Just in case.

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