Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Whiskers on Kittens

I'm not in a "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" kind of mood today. The Cranky Librarian is definitely living up to her name. It's gray and rainy, we're in the middle of state testing, and I need a nap in a bad way. So in honor of my crankiness and sour disposition today, I am going to list a few of my not-favorite things. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Julie Andrews.

The Cranky Librarian's Least Favorite Things:

1. Smashing a finger in a cabinet door or stubbing a toe, especially if either of those things happen in the morning, and most especially if both happen the same morning (as they did today.)

2. Dropping something, and then when you pick it up, dropping the damn thing again. (Ever seen the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Debra drops the raw Thanksgiving turkey on the floor and, since it's slippery, keeps dropping it until she finally gets ticked and just pitches the whole thing in the oven? Classic.)

3. Noisy neighbors who never fail to fire up their four-wheeler and joyride around their yard revving the engine on Sunday afternoons just as you've put your preschooler down for a nap.

4. When your DVR gets punked by gremlins and fails to record your favorite show or, worse, records all but the last 2 minutes when there's this really big revelation you know everyone will be talking about the next day and you'll just have to imagine that scene in your head.

5. Drivers who start to merge into your lane because they're too busy talking on their cell phones to actually watch the road and then, when you honk at them to get their attention and not get run into oncoming traffic, flip you off as if you're the a-hole.

6. Spiders.

7. People who ask questions in movie theaters loud enough to annoy everyone around them, especially if the questions they ask are about the plot and could be answered if they would just shut the @#%^ up and watch the movie.

8. Getting overcharged on a sale item, especially when you don't catch it until you're all the way home, and realize that the gas you would waste driving back would cancel out the buck the store owes you.

9. Streaks on my glasses.

10. Tangled hangers.

11. My baking pans cabinet, which barely holds everything I need it to, and only if everything in it is organized just so, and which makes enough noise to wake the dead when I try to pull out a cookie sheet because everything in it shifts position and spills out the back. And when that happens, I have to reorganize everything to make sure I can get all the contents back in the cabinet, which makes more noise, and causes more pans to spill out, which occasionally makes me throw muffin tins and cake pans around the kitchen...

I could go on and on 'cause it's just that kind of day. Use the comments section to add your own little grievances.

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