Fleece Navidad

It's gonna be a cold, cold, weekend here in the tri-state. The kind of weekend that just might make me drag out some Christmas decorations and start thinking about the yuletide.



I already know what I want this year. It's a smaller wish list than last year. It's just this one simple thing, and I think after you watch the commercial for it, you might just want one too:



A Snuggie.



Okay, seriously, stop reading and click on that link. You won't be sorry. I'll wait.



Priceless, hain't it?



Jason and I saw this commercial last weekend, and when it came on, I really and truly thought we were watching an episode of SNL and that Kristen Wiig was going to appear any moment. When we realized this was a real honest-to-goodness product...well, that's just rich.



The sad thing is both Jason and I agreed that my constantly-cold mom and daughter would probably love to each have a Snuggie and would live in them all winter long. Even though they would look like they were waiting for the mother ship.



Here's what slays me in this commercial (which, for research purposes, I have replayed about 5 times):



1. If having to uncover your arm from a blanket to answer the phone is the most annoying thing in your life...can we please trade for a day?

2. Women can almost pull this off, aesthetically speaking. Men...not so much. That younger guy wearing it while using his laptop? The older guy in the chair? They look like a ride on Comet Hale-Bopp is in their immediate future. And the more people wearing it together, the more ridiculous it looks. The family around the campfire wearing them? Yeesh. The family that wears backwards bathrobes together stays together, I guess.

3. The woman puttering around in her kitchen close to her stove in something that brags about its "oversized sleeves"? That's just a grisly 911 call waiting to happen.

4. Look again at the sporting event scene around the one-minute mark. When the little girl jumps up to cheer, the Snuggie completely devours her arms. Hahahaha! Sometimes one-size-fits-all doesn't.

5. That college student wearing it? She's not going to see any action in that thing. Just sayin'.

6. The free reading light? I can just see people watching this and being on the fence but seeing that light and going, "Well, that just seals the deal. Because now I can read in the dark with a blanket that doesn't confine my arms when I engage in some strenuous page-turning."

7. If only it came in more colors...I look really hot in orange.



What I really want is to order 3 and have them arrive just in time for this year's Cranky family Christmas card photo to feature the three of us in matching UK-blue blankets with sleeves. It would just scream "Happy Holidays!"



Also, "Losers!"



And possibly, "We heart Gregorian chant!"

If you're not struck speechless by the absurdity of this year's must-have infomercial item, tell me: deep down, in places you don't talk about at dinner parties, do you secretly kinda want one? Or are you more of a Slanket person?