Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Ainsley Solves the Financial Crisis AND Global Warming

Seriously, I want my kid to go work for the government. I think she has some good ideas.

Jason and I have been, like probably 99.9 % of Americans, worrying out loud over the financial crap heap we're all in. After Obama's press conference last night, I couldn't sleep; Jason has had layoffs at his workplace, and my assistant was told yesterday that there might not be a job for her next year. I worry for her (though she's been told that nothing is definite yet) and selfishly for myself. The thought of running a library that services 1600 students and over 100 staff members and much of the technology needs of said students and staff without any clerical help made me want to throw up a little. After the press conference, I found myself fretting the economic catastrophe all night long and having nightmares about soup kitchens and bread lines. And I usually like soup and bread.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays Jason is home in the morning to help get Ains ready for school and he likes to have political news going in the background. This morning it got us talking about the sorry state of affairs in our own sorry state, about the cuts education is going to take and how angry that makes us as parents, and so on and so forth until my blood was running as hot as our morning Joe.

"I love everybody," Ainsley chimed in. This is something she throws out whenever she senses frustration and discord in the house that's not directly aimed at her; I guess it's how a six year old tries to change the topic.

"Well, what the world needs now is love, sweet love," I said. Without any trace of bitterness or irony. Of course. "Because it is the only thing there's just too little of. Oh, wait, except for money. And consumer confidence. And loans. And alternative energy sources."

Jason turned his sights on Ainsley.

"What do you think, Ains? Should the banks get more capital? Or should their toxic assets be purchased? Or do we just need more tax cuts?"

She thought for a minute.

"I think everybody should eat ice cream. Every day."


"Because it will make everyone happier. And if they're hot, it will make them cooler."

So there you have it. I plan on calling this the Cranky Stimulus Package, and I am putting it into action in my house immediately (once it is voted in by a two-thirds majority, of course. But I am pretty sure I have the votes. Though if Graeter's wants to lobby for it, I would not object.)


Robert K. said...

It's no dumber than throwing another trillion dollars of debt at a problem caused by excessive debt. ;)

By the way, Oklahoma City has been rated the most recession-proof city in the country. Go us!

Karen said...

Of course Oklahoma City is recession-proof, it's already as bad as it can be. ;-P

I think Ainsley's idea is great. Let's eat more ice cream!!