Yeah, it's been a while.
I decided a week or so ago that until I had something (mostly) nice to say, I wasn't going to say anything at all. For the past month, during our string of unfortunate events, I've been all, "Whine, whine, moan, moan, complain, complain." Even in a blog called, "The Cranky Librarian," I have a limit for how much of my own belly-achin' I can take.
This week, I've been incredibly busy. I had a big project I was responsible for at work, a whole bunch of meetings, and a sick kid (just a cold, thank goodness, and not the dreaded flu of the swine.) But even with that, things were good. I had a few positive, perhaps even funny posts rattling around in my head, my luck was seeming to turn around (I won't a $50 Tar-jay gift card as a door prize at one of the evening meetings I had this week--score!).
Then I walked in the door at 9:30pm from the final long night of these past two weeks to learn that we'd just had a death in the family.
This person is someone I haven't even seen in a long time (though by all means should have taken the time to visit in her final years) so I feel all kinds of regret and guilt right now. My mom and sister had a closer bond to this person in life than I did, and they are both taking it very hard and making the trip "down home" this weekend to help with arrangements and begin to grieve. It may only be a small bombshell, but it's enough to shake my world a little bit.
So here's the deal, loyal readers. I can hear an Oprah-like voice in my head right now saying, "Go. Find your joy." That sounds very Oprah-awful, I know. But I think that's exactly what I need to do.
I am going to take another week off from the blog. I know only a few of you read it, and it's not something you can't live without, and all that. But I wanted to let you know. I promise that I will come back if you will. I am going to get my groove back, find my mojo, whatever you want to call it. On Monday, November 2, I am going to come back and start writing again. By then, I will have licked my wounds (as well as a load of Halloween candy) and be ready to look at the world with still-cranky, but hopefully newly-optimistic, eyes.
Take care of yourselves. And each other. And like the Terminator says...I'll be baaack.
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2 comments:
Good luck, Toni. I know I don't have to tell you that life's true joy is the people in the house with us. But beyond that, the only suggestion I can make is to realize the joy of the little things we take for granted every day - a warm cup of coffee, a good cigar, a hug, the feel of an old cherished book in your hands, etc. In the course of our day we tend to pass over the little things, and we don't realize how much joy they contribute, individually and collectively. I got a big reminder of that lately, which I can go into some other time, if you like. Slow down, and take the time to look at the things that can bring a little joy into each day.
Rick is exactly right. Not that I'm in any position to give advice on how to "keep on the sunny side." I'm always one to spot the dark cloud on the horizon in an otherwise glorious sky. About 12 years ago, I cut a quotation of a 30-year-old magazine. It advised cultivating "le petit bonheur" - the little happiness - until Happiness returned again. I remind myself of that when melancholy is at high tide. One really can eke a smile out of a down spell with things like good coffee, hugs, a well-executed sitcom episode, finding a new song that you can groove on, a hilarious, impeccably written post on a good friend's blog (ahem*). Take care of yourself XOXO
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