Friday, April 5, 2013

How I Feel (The Musical)

I was in a very calm, Zen-like mood of acceptance and love and understanding Tuesday.

Today? Not so much.

I need spring break. Like, really, really need it. I love the people in my life. Dearly. But I currently want to throttle upwards of 75% of them. Because I have one nerve left, and they're using it as a springy little diving board from which to jump head-first into the numbing waters of Lack of Personal Responsibility Lake.

So the following ditty came to me today after about the 100th time someone started rifling through the cup of writing utensils on my desk before looking up to ask, "Hey, do you have a pen I can borrow?"

And my outer response was, "Certainly!" But my inner response was, "Certainly...But if I grab it before you do, you're sooo getting stabbed with it."

Sing to the tune of "I'm So Pretty" from West Side Story, won't you?

I feel stabby!
Oh, so stabby!
I feel stabby
And crabby
And I pity
Every douche clown who gets in my way.

La la la la la la, la la!

Second verse, same as the first.

So I will be on hiatus next week, from work but also from anything that feels like responsibility. This responsibility champion desperately needs a break. I shall be talking with you when I get back from my vacation to Lazyville, where the beer flows free and the naps are plentiful.

I'll be slothing if you need me, so...try not to need me.

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