Friday night, Ainsley and I went to a home football game at my high school. I am ashamed to confess that this was the first sporting event I've been to in my seven years at this school. I'm a bad teacher, I know. It was Ainsley's idea; she saw a local restaurant commercial that featured clips from a high-school football game, and said she wanted to go to one. We stayed through the marching band's halftime show and had a great time. I also learned some things.
I learned that:
1. Kettle corn rocks. Our band boosters pop it and sell it during home games, and it ranks pretty highly on my list of best snacks ever. Crispy, fluffy, and the perfect blend of salty and sweet...mmmm. I found myself wanting to strap the bag on like a sack of feed and just bury my head in the bag. It was that good.
2. My daughter really, really, really wants to be a cheerleader. More than anything in this world, she says. Which has me thinking: is she really my kid, or did aliens snatch her soul and replace it with some other little girl's?
She's already asked to go to another football game so she can see the cheerleaders and listen to the band (I kept trying to get her to see the merits of being in the marching band, since that's more in her genetic makeup, but she couldn't get past being a cheerleader), so I guess we're becoming regulars. We don't pay much attention to the game, but at least we're there wearing our blue and white. And supporting the band boosters by eating our weight in kettle corn.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
A Little 80s Nostalgia
EW.com has a great Pop Watch Confessional today asking about the pop-culture items from our youth we wish we still had. Reading the comments has been like taking a walk through my childhood; I've been reminded of Snoopy Sno Cone machines (wanted, but never got), Cher dolls, Fashion Plates (LOVED those), Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and the like. Gosh, we had a lot of crap in the 80s.
It got me thinking about my favorite toys from he 70s and 80s. And all the campy jingles we listened to for these toys during Saturday morning cartoons ("You put some ice cubes in, you get a snow cone out...Yum Yum fun is what it's all about!")
Here are some things I really wish I had kept from my childhood:
1. My Bionic Woman doll. Now that the new series is coming out, it would be soooo cool. She had little flaps that popped up on her arms and legs to let you see the bionics at work, and I think she hooked up to some kind of machine that spat out a fake EKG or something. Until the paper ran out, and then you were SOL.
2. This one game that I think was called Perfection. You wound up the timer on the side, and then you had to race against the clock to put all these differently-shaped pieces on this tray before it popped up, spraying plastic parts everywhere. As it got closer to the time of the pop-up, the timer started clicking faster, and you knew you were in for it. I startled even easier as a kid than I do now, and I would get really worked up and nervous about not having all the pieces in before this thing would catch me all unawares and pop up in my face. If you got all the pieces in before the timer went off, you could at least prepare for the big jump. It was truly frightening and exhilarating for me, and is probably the reason why I've had to be treated for anxiety more than once in my life.
3. My own Michael Jackson Thriller jacket, which looked just like the one he wore in the video, but was made of some plastic material only slightly thicker than a Hefty bag, and which I had torn the arms off of inside of a week. But man, it was fun while it lasted.
4. My Star Wars figures.
5. My "Gizmo" stuffed animal, which said, "Mogwai!" just like the one in the Gremlins movie when you pressed his belly, and squeaked adorably when you shook him.
6. My E.T. lamp. If I still had it, I really think I could make some serious money off of eBay for it. It was truly wonderful and tacky and terrifying all at the same time. My mom's friend was into ceramics and had her own workshop where she painted her own stuff and taught lessons and fired everthing herself. She made me this lamp that was an 18-inch tall E.T. with a lightbulb inside of him to highlight the transparent red stomach, blue glass eyes, and, of course, red jewel finger. Then you could a put regular light bulb and shade on top of his head. He was my bedside lamp for a couple of years until I repainted and redecorated my room and outgrew him. I can still remember listening to the radio in my room, and when Neil Diamond's "Heartlight" would come on, turning on his inside bulb and singing to my very own glowing E.T. Good times, good times.
7. And the kicker: Though not a toy, I most wish I had a copy of the Rodney Dangerfield's Young Comedians' Special that aired on HBO in the mid-80s and which my parents let me watch even though I was probably too young for the adult language. There was a comedian on there named Bob Nelson, and he did this hee-larious football player sketch that used to make me cry and that I can quote in full to this day ("I never play without my protective gear...like my helmet, and them shoulder-m-pads.") Not having a VCR at that point, I held a tape recorder up to that show and taped it and shared it with all my friends. Sam Kinison and Bob Saget were on there too, I believe. Years later, I say something that is a quote from the Bob Nelson sketch while hanging out with my friend Cindy in college, and she gasps and starts quoting back, and before long we've recited the whole dang thing. She tells me she has a VHS copy of that show at her house, and she asks her mom to find it and mail to her. A few days later, the tape has arrived, and I've just turned 21, so we gather in her dorm room to knock back my first legal purchase and laugh our asses off. But her brother has taped over the show with something called, "Live From Death Row." We could have cried. One of the biggest disappointments of my entire life.
But I digress. What toys or pop-culture items from your childhood would you most like to find at a garage sale? What treasures are still lurking in your attics and basements?
It got me thinking about my favorite toys from he 70s and 80s. And all the campy jingles we listened to for these toys during Saturday morning cartoons ("You put some ice cubes in, you get a snow cone out...Yum Yum fun is what it's all about!")
Here are some things I really wish I had kept from my childhood:
1. My Bionic Woman doll. Now that the new series is coming out, it would be soooo cool. She had little flaps that popped up on her arms and legs to let you see the bionics at work, and I think she hooked up to some kind of machine that spat out a fake EKG or something. Until the paper ran out, and then you were SOL.
2. This one game that I think was called Perfection. You wound up the timer on the side, and then you had to race against the clock to put all these differently-shaped pieces on this tray before it popped up, spraying plastic parts everywhere. As it got closer to the time of the pop-up, the timer started clicking faster, and you knew you were in for it. I startled even easier as a kid than I do now, and I would get really worked up and nervous about not having all the pieces in before this thing would catch me all unawares and pop up in my face. If you got all the pieces in before the timer went off, you could at least prepare for the big jump. It was truly frightening and exhilarating for me, and is probably the reason why I've had to be treated for anxiety more than once in my life.
3. My own Michael Jackson Thriller jacket, which looked just like the one he wore in the video, but was made of some plastic material only slightly thicker than a Hefty bag, and which I had torn the arms off of inside of a week. But man, it was fun while it lasted.
4. My Star Wars figures.
5. My "Gizmo" stuffed animal, which said, "Mogwai!" just like the one in the Gremlins movie when you pressed his belly, and squeaked adorably when you shook him.
6. My E.T. lamp. If I still had it, I really think I could make some serious money off of eBay for it. It was truly wonderful and tacky and terrifying all at the same time. My mom's friend was into ceramics and had her own workshop where she painted her own stuff and taught lessons and fired everthing herself. She made me this lamp that was an 18-inch tall E.T. with a lightbulb inside of him to highlight the transparent red stomach, blue glass eyes, and, of course, red jewel finger. Then you could a put regular light bulb and shade on top of his head. He was my bedside lamp for a couple of years until I repainted and redecorated my room and outgrew him. I can still remember listening to the radio in my room, and when Neil Diamond's "Heartlight" would come on, turning on his inside bulb and singing to my very own glowing E.T. Good times, good times.
7. And the kicker: Though not a toy, I most wish I had a copy of the Rodney Dangerfield's Young Comedians' Special that aired on HBO in the mid-80s and which my parents let me watch even though I was probably too young for the adult language. There was a comedian on there named Bob Nelson, and he did this hee-larious football player sketch that used to make me cry and that I can quote in full to this day ("I never play without my protective gear...like my helmet, and them shoulder-m-pads.") Not having a VCR at that point, I held a tape recorder up to that show and taped it and shared it with all my friends. Sam Kinison and Bob Saget were on there too, I believe. Years later, I say something that is a quote from the Bob Nelson sketch while hanging out with my friend Cindy in college, and she gasps and starts quoting back, and before long we've recited the whole dang thing. She tells me she has a VHS copy of that show at her house, and she asks her mom to find it and mail to her. A few days later, the tape has arrived, and I've just turned 21, so we gather in her dorm room to knock back my first legal purchase and laugh our asses off. But her brother has taped over the show with something called, "Live From Death Row." We could have cried. One of the biggest disappointments of my entire life.
But I digress. What toys or pop-culture items from your childhood would you most like to find at a garage sale? What treasures are still lurking in your attics and basements?
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Bright, Bright Sun-Shiny Day
I think things are turning around. Yesterday, I:
1. Found my watch, which had been missing since Saturday morning, and which I was convinced I had thrown away on accident;
2. Got a happy note home from Ainsley's teacher, who said she is trying very hard to improve her classroom habits and had a great day yesterday.
Those two little things just made my day. Maybe there's something to this positive-thinking bullcrap after all.
But never fear. After one more workday of shiny, happy posts, Cranky will allow herself to go back to being, well, cranky, as long as the situation calls for it.
1. Found my watch, which had been missing since Saturday morning, and which I was convinced I had thrown away on accident;
2. Got a happy note home from Ainsley's teacher, who said she is trying very hard to improve her classroom habits and had a great day yesterday.
Those two little things just made my day. Maybe there's something to this positive-thinking bullcrap after all.
But never fear. After one more workday of shiny, happy posts, Cranky will allow herself to go back to being, well, cranky, as long as the situation calls for it.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Breaking News From the World Of Amateur Theatre
Cranky is going to be taking to the stage for the first time in a dozen years! I have been cast in our faculty murder mystery dinner theater to raise money for our drama department. I didn't even have to audition! Granted, it's not like teachers were knocking down doors or anything to get a part, but still. Let me have my moment.
My thing in high school was to play roles that really were supposed to go to males. I was the Artful Dodger in Oliver, and the John the Baptist/Judas role in Godspell. Following in that great theater tradition of not having enough guys wanting to take part, I have been cast in a male role yet again.
My character's name is Ronald Shifty, and he is a shifty bloke, indeed. I have to adopt a thick cockney accent for the part (I'm thinking Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins) and hit on one of my female co-workers. It's not a very big part, but it's one that provides comic relief. Am I the murderer? You'll just have to see it to find out.
For those interested, I'll have performance information posted soon. We have a great cast, and it's a really fun script. It should be a fun night for a good cause.
My thing in high school was to play roles that really were supposed to go to males. I was the Artful Dodger in Oliver, and the John the Baptist/Judas role in Godspell. Following in that great theater tradition of not having enough guys wanting to take part, I have been cast in a male role yet again.
My character's name is Ronald Shifty, and he is a shifty bloke, indeed. I have to adopt a thick cockney accent for the part (I'm thinking Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins) and hit on one of my female co-workers. It's not a very big part, but it's one that provides comic relief. Am I the murderer? You'll just have to see it to find out.
For those interested, I'll have performance information posted soon. We have a great cast, and it's a really fun script. It should be a fun night for a good cause.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
White Chicken Chili: It'll Cure What Ails You
It's days like today, when I'm coming down with a cold and can almost feel the germs settling in and making babies in the back of my throat, that I thank God for the Rosses' white chicken chili recipe. It has antiseptic and decongestant properties that are nothing short of magical.
The first time I had it, I was pregnant and our college friends made it for us for dinner. I thought several times during that dinner that I was going to die. It was just about the hottest thing I had ever eaten, and I am a big fan of spicy food. It made me sweat, it made my eyes water, it burned the whole way down (and I do mean the whole way.) And yet, I had a second bowl. And asked for the recipe. And fixed it at home the first time about a week later. It was that good.
Since then, I've burned enough taste buds off at Chipotle so that I don't notice the heat of the Ross Chili too much. It's the dish my mom most requests when she comes over for dinner, though she sometimes asks me to turn the heat down on it a little. It's a staple, even if it is a little too hot for Ains, requiring me to make a second meal for her.
I always have it when I feel a cold coming on. I swear, there have been times it's nipped the virus in the bud. If I have a sore throat, it kinda numbs it. Numbs it, or does nerve damage, but either way, you don't feel the sore throat as much. And I think it creates such an inhospitable environment in your mouth and throat that nothing can survive. The germs get wiped out much as they would if you could gargle Lysol. Have you ever read Dave Barry's "Flaming Toilet" column, where he visits with a microbiologist who says the only way to really get a toilet 100% bacteria-free is to pour gasoline on it and set it afire? I am pretty sure a dousing with this chili would have the same effect. But it's far too valuable to waste that way (and I doubt it holds on to its antiseptic properties after it, you know, passes into the toilet by its own means, though the first time I ever ate it it still felt pretty potent on its way out.)
So in a week where I am trying to find the positives, this one's an easy one. The Rosses' white chicken chili definitely brightens my day and cures what ails me. The heartburn will be soooo worth it tonight.
The first time I had it, I was pregnant and our college friends made it for us for dinner. I thought several times during that dinner that I was going to die. It was just about the hottest thing I had ever eaten, and I am a big fan of spicy food. It made me sweat, it made my eyes water, it burned the whole way down (and I do mean the whole way.) And yet, I had a second bowl. And asked for the recipe. And fixed it at home the first time about a week later. It was that good.
Since then, I've burned enough taste buds off at Chipotle so that I don't notice the heat of the Ross Chili too much. It's the dish my mom most requests when she comes over for dinner, though she sometimes asks me to turn the heat down on it a little. It's a staple, even if it is a little too hot for Ains, requiring me to make a second meal for her.
I always have it when I feel a cold coming on. I swear, there have been times it's nipped the virus in the bud. If I have a sore throat, it kinda numbs it. Numbs it, or does nerve damage, but either way, you don't feel the sore throat as much. And I think it creates such an inhospitable environment in your mouth and throat that nothing can survive. The germs get wiped out much as they would if you could gargle Lysol. Have you ever read Dave Barry's "Flaming Toilet" column, where he visits with a microbiologist who says the only way to really get a toilet 100% bacteria-free is to pour gasoline on it and set it afire? I am pretty sure a dousing with this chili would have the same effect. But it's far too valuable to waste that way (and I doubt it holds on to its antiseptic properties after it, you know, passes into the toilet by its own means, though the first time I ever ate it it still felt pretty potent on its way out.)
So in a week where I am trying to find the positives, this one's an easy one. The Rosses' white chicken chili definitely brightens my day and cures what ails me. The heartburn will be soooo worth it tonight.
Monday, September 3, 2007
For a Limited Time Only--The Happy Librarian!
I've started this post 3 times. I had something to gripe about (2 somethings, actually), something I was very fired-up about, but couldn't seem to get into it. I looked back over my posts from the last week for inspiration and had an epiphany: I have become dangerously bitter. Even for a blog that calls itself "The Cranky Librarian", there's been a little too much acid coming from this pen.
You know how as a kid, you would unknowingly step in dog poo while playing in the yard, and you would think for a while, "Gosh, what is that smell?" It would kinda follow you around, and your friends would notice and start accusing everyone else of farting, and then you would walk into your house to get a popsicle and your mom would scream, "AAAAGH! You're tracking dog crap on the carpet!' and then you would realize you'd been carrying that on your shoe for hours. I feel like my last 7 days have been like that, except instead of real doggy droppings, I've stepped in a big pile of Karmic offal.
I'm tired of this bad luck. I'm tired of picking foul-smelling experiences out of the treads of my shoes. I need an Extreme Makeover: World View Edition.
So here's the deal: to try to make something positive happen for me, I am going to surround myself with good thoughts this week. No, really. Stop laughing. I promise that, for an entire week, I will only post good comments about people. Kind of a "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" mentality. If I can't think of a compliment to give another human being or group, I won't post that day. If something bad has happened, I will put a positive spin on it. You know, turn the beat around. Turn it up, turn it up, turn it upside down.
Ooh, boy. I'm gonna need some help.
Help me put some good back into my life. Build a wall of positive energy around this blog. Just for one week! If you're one of my lurkers who read and don't post, try to post an anonymous and positive comment this week. If you're having some crap-tacular luck, too, spin it. Become a "Spin Doctor", if you will.
I'll start. I am going to take today's bad experiences and try to find the good in it. Here goes nothing:
1. The waitresses at my favorite Cincinnati-chili chain (for the sake of anonymity, let's call it, "Charming Silhouette of a City's Buildings" Chili) almost never get my order wrong, overcharge me, and argue with me over the price of a "substitution" all on the same visit.
2. The teenage girl who was supposed to work a booth at Ainsley's school's festival with me today gave me an hour of solid help before she up and left for parts unknown leaving me to work two games in the last hour in the hot sun by myself.
Whew! That was hard, but I feel a little better already. It's either the positive thinking, or the Dos Equis.
Stay tuned...
You know how as a kid, you would unknowingly step in dog poo while playing in the yard, and you would think for a while, "Gosh, what is that smell?" It would kinda follow you around, and your friends would notice and start accusing everyone else of farting, and then you would walk into your house to get a popsicle and your mom would scream, "AAAAGH! You're tracking dog crap on the carpet!' and then you would realize you'd been carrying that on your shoe for hours. I feel like my last 7 days have been like that, except instead of real doggy droppings, I've stepped in a big pile of Karmic offal.
I'm tired of this bad luck. I'm tired of picking foul-smelling experiences out of the treads of my shoes. I need an Extreme Makeover: World View Edition.
So here's the deal: to try to make something positive happen for me, I am going to surround myself with good thoughts this week. No, really. Stop laughing. I promise that, for an entire week, I will only post good comments about people. Kind of a "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" mentality. If I can't think of a compliment to give another human being or group, I won't post that day. If something bad has happened, I will put a positive spin on it. You know, turn the beat around. Turn it up, turn it up, turn it upside down.
Ooh, boy. I'm gonna need some help.
Help me put some good back into my life. Build a wall of positive energy around this blog. Just for one week! If you're one of my lurkers who read and don't post, try to post an anonymous and positive comment this week. If you're having some crap-tacular luck, too, spin it. Become a "Spin Doctor", if you will.
I'll start. I am going to take today's bad experiences and try to find the good in it. Here goes nothing:
1. The waitresses at my favorite Cincinnati-chili chain (for the sake of anonymity, let's call it, "Charming Silhouette of a City's Buildings" Chili) almost never get my order wrong, overcharge me, and argue with me over the price of a "substitution" all on the same visit.
2. The teenage girl who was supposed to work a booth at Ainsley's school's festival with me today gave me an hour of solid help before she up and left for parts unknown leaving me to work two games in the last hour in the hot sun by myself.
Whew! That was hard, but I feel a little better already. It's either the positive thinking, or the Dos Equis.
Stay tuned...
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Here's A Thought...
If you're sick, stay the frick out of swimming pools.
Silverlake is closing its pool this weekend because someone with a confirmed case of the very nasty intestinal infection Cryptosporidiosis swam there last weekend. Guess who else swam there last weekend? My entire family! And guess who had swim lessons there Thursday night? Ainsley! Hooray! I am counting the days until we start throwing up violently.
Of course, we may be lucky and escape it, but it's a highly contagious bug. All it takes is for you to accidentally swallow infected pool water. I am pretty sure I didn't, but I can just about promise you Ainsley did. And if she gets it, as primary poop-cleaner-upper, I will probably get it, too. Grrrr.
As nasty as this thing is, why in God's green earth would anyone with this illness in any of its stages get in a pool? How do people not know that you don't let your kid swim when they have diarrhea? Or have had it recently? Chances are, that infected person got it from another infected swimming pool, and that parent is probably ticked that that happened, but still thought it would be OK to bring Junior ro Silverlake to get a break from the heat. Grrrrr.
I've said it before, and will say it again: I love people!
Silverlake is closing its pool this weekend because someone with a confirmed case of the very nasty intestinal infection Cryptosporidiosis swam there last weekend. Guess who else swam there last weekend? My entire family! And guess who had swim lessons there Thursday night? Ainsley! Hooray! I am counting the days until we start throwing up violently.
Of course, we may be lucky and escape it, but it's a highly contagious bug. All it takes is for you to accidentally swallow infected pool water. I am pretty sure I didn't, but I can just about promise you Ainsley did. And if she gets it, as primary poop-cleaner-upper, I will probably get it, too. Grrrr.
As nasty as this thing is, why in God's green earth would anyone with this illness in any of its stages get in a pool? How do people not know that you don't let your kid swim when they have diarrhea? Or have had it recently? Chances are, that infected person got it from another infected swimming pool, and that parent is probably ticked that that happened, but still thought it would be OK to bring Junior ro Silverlake to get a break from the heat. Grrrrr.
I've said it before, and will say it again: I love people!
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