Belated Gifts

Looking back, it was just like the scene from A Christmas Story.

We were at the table eating dinner when we heard a large truck come down the street. We stopped mid-bite, staring at each other from across the table. The truck stopped in front of the house, its rumbling engine still running.

"It's the UPS man," Jason whispered.

"Could it be..."

He left his chicken tortilla soup on the table to go down and retrieve the box. It did not have "Fra-jee-lay" marked on the side, but it could not have been more eagerly anticipated had it been a Major Award.

It was...Snuggies! Two of them! With "free" booklights! It only took them 8 weeks to get here, but better late than never.

Yes, my friends, I got a red Snuggie for Christmas. Just like I asked for. I don't even mind that it arrived closer to my birthday than to Christmas.

Jason was the first to try one on.

"Oh, honey," I said, my eyes filling with joyful tears. "You so look ready to hitch a ride on the comet and go back to the mother ship."

Ainsley was next, and after almost killing herself, we advised her to only wear it when fully seated. It's so long that when she tried travelling with it on she looked like Maggie Simpson walking inside her baby gown.

I actually have not tried it on yet. I need to wash them first; the "high-quality fleece" in reality is some synthetic fiber that harbors enough static electricity to make Ainsley's hair stand on end and perhaps power every light in our house. If fabric softener doesn't solve that little problem they're not going to be good for much other than shocking each other and showing Ainsley what a spark looks like.

It seems we got the Snuggies right on time. They are starting to make appearances at local stores in the "As Seen On TV" sections and one of our local news stations just did a story about them. I tell you, one of my highlights of 2009 so far was when the station cut back to the anchor desk and good ole Kit Andrews was nonchalantly sporting a Snuggie while the crew laughed in the background.

I don't know how long they'll last; when I put them into the washer this morning I noticed that there was already a rip at the sleave seam. And without the sleeves, the Snuggie really isn't a Snuggie.

One thing is for certain--with the snow falling, tonight will find me wrapped up in one, my arms free to perhaps hold a book, or a remote, or reach for a lamp. While you will be struggling with that old quilt or blanket, my cult, er, family and I will be both warm and unencumbered, able to move our arms any way we choose. Bwahahahaha!

So just how jealous are you? And just how badly do you want me to post pictures?