A Pain in the Neck

I am BUI this afternoon. Blogging Under the Influence. Of a strong muscle relaxer. Woooot.

A couple of times a year, I get muscle spasms in by upper back and neck. Usually a hot corn bag (if you don't own one of these, and have any kind of muscle aches, you really need to get one) and some Alleve knock it out after a day of stiffness. So yesterday when I woke up with the telltale pulling sensation in my trapezius, and a limited range of motion in my neck, I took my Alleve and stretched and heated right after work. But things just got worser and worser.

This morning, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow without screaming. I couldn't look down. I couldn't raise my right arm. I couldn't look to the right. I couldn't look down (wait, I said that already, but that's what gave me the worst pain, so it's worth repeating.) I was in agony. I finally understood why so many celebrities with "back problems" get hooked on pain killers and wind up in Betty Ford. I would have taken any little pill anybody threw at me to make that pain go away. Percocet? Yes, please. Vicodin? If it's good enough for House, it's good enough for me.

I got in with my office's physician assistant, who broke it to me gently.

"I can give you a shot in the muscle," she said apologetically, as though she had just given me really bad news. I know some people have extreme needle issues (looking at you, DD!) and would have gotten their coats and left right then and there. But I didn't care. She could have told me she had to perform surgery without anesthesia right there in the office, and I would have given her my blessing if it meant relief.

So, I got my shot. Which had a numbing agent in it, so for 5 minutes I had bliss. Then I got my muscle relaxers. And, oh, the muscle relaxers.

So, that's as much writing as I can do today. I wouldn't want this to stiffen back up. And I wouldn't want to write anything incriminating while under the influence.

More of my cancer diagnosis flashback tomorrow, for anyone who's been into that. It's more for me than for an audience, to make peace with the hell I went through, but I appreciate those of you have contacted me off-blog to offer your congratulations. Bear with me, then I'll be back to the cranky-mom stuff soon.

Signing off, to enjoy some medicinal side effects!

Cranky