Songs In the Key of Lame

Gosh, I feel old.

Last night on American Idol, the contestants had to choose a song from their birth year. Nothing will make you feel old like hearing someone sing Every Breath You Take, which I recorded off the local top 40 radio station when it was a hit and played in an endless loop for, like, a week. The contestant singing it last night was still a baby bump while I was memorizing every lyric. Sigh.

As always when I watch Idol, I found myself wondering what song I would choose if I had talent and charisma and was an Idol contender. Those kids get a lot of heat from the judges for their song choices, but during the "theme" weeks it can be tougher than it looks to meet the requirements and still pick a great song.

If I had been required to sing last night, this is the list of songs I would have had to choose from. 1974 was not a stellar year for music, it seems. That year supplied Dave Barry with quite a few of his "Bad Songs"; the choices pretty much boil down to disco or cheese.

It's really too bad none of the "classics" from 1974 are choices on my American Idol Encore game. Yes, I bought it. And it's really been an ego boost. Mostly. I am currently tackling the mode where your player can go through the entire 18 rounds of the real Idol show; each song you successfully complete gets you through that round, from the initial audition for the judges to Hollywood week to the final 12 and so on. I have one more round and then I'll (hopefully) be in the final 12. So far, Randy has told me my little digital character has given the best performance in the competition, and my crush Simon has said that I am what this competition is all about! Of course, that was before I butchered "Holiday" (who'd have thought an early Madonna song would be tough?) and was told I was "utterly forgettable." The next "week", though, I was back in form with "Lips of an Angel" (yes, I still hate that song, but it's in a great range for a girl) and Simon gave me kudos for putting my bad performance behind me and moving on. It's too fun. Sony is breaking my heart by not having the downloadable content up yet, so I may have to pick "Come Sail Away" the next time I try to advance. And if that's what I pick, chances are, I'm going to be tempted to sing it like Eric Cartman. I'm not sure if Simon will get that interpretation, but I bet it would earn me a seal clap from the digital Paula.

At any rate, it has to be better than my attempt at "Irreplaceable", which I sang in quickplay mode when we had some friends over to see the game. Beyonce I am not. To the left, to the left...Not a good song choice for me, dawg.

If you had to sing a song, any song, on an imaginary Idol stage, what would you pick? And would you rock Simon's world?