Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Only Good Spider is a Dead Spider

I am happy to report that the creature is dead. Jason is a most excellent spider slayer; when we ventured down to the laundry room together after work, spidey wasn't where I had last seen him. Spiders seldom stay put. Knowing that I may never have washed socks again if Shelob was still down there, Jason rustled around the area where the thing was last seen and sure enough he got it to come out.

"I don't think that was as big as the bathtub spider," he said after smacking, squishing, and flushing my nemesis. "Though he was awfully furry."

Sure you don't think it was that big. 'Cause it was all curled up in wolf-spider defense mode when you saw it. Don't belitte my fear, dude. The thing was enormous.

I had really been hoping he would get more freaked out and confirm my fear and loathing. You know the Sylvester and Tweety cartoon where Tweety somehow gets a hold of a potion that makes him blow up into a huge yellow monster, and Sylvester and his son are trying to get him, but every time Sylvester goes into the room alone he sees Monster Tweety and just walks back to his son, stuttering and gray and scared to death? That's kinda what I was hoping Jason would do. But alas, he is outwardly calm from years of pest control.

Which brings me to a question, you manly men who read the blog and kill the spiders in your own homes: Are you as afraid as we are and just try to act brave to fulfill your role as testosterone-y superheroes saving your damsels in distress? Or are your wives just a bunch of freaks?

Tell us the truth. We won't judge so long as you keep smushing.

5 comments:

corycaleb said...

Ok - I know at least one of your readers is not as unafraid as he might have us believe. I am remembering an incident in college when he PRETENDED to kill a spider in mine and Karen's dorm room (because they both knew there was absolutely no possibility whatsoever of me sleeping in that room again until it was GONE) - I was told it was gone but it was later revealed that he was scared to kill it and just told me he killed. I will not reveal his name - but you know who you are.....I have never quite completely forgiven you for leaving me to a potential death by spider! ;)

Robert K. said...

That's not the way I remember the story. As I recall, it wasn't that I was afraid of the spider, I just didn't feel like spending half an hour that late at night trying to find the stupid thing. :)

Karen said...

What Rob is trying to say is that he was too lazy to kill that spider! ;) And it wasn't nearly the spider Cranky is talking about!

Speaking of that, we need an update! Did Jason kill the the Hummer-sized spider? Or is it still on the loose in the laundry room? :)

Karen said...

Duh! Never mind. I thought I was commenting on the first story. Give me a break, it's been a long day! Glad to know he's in spider hell now! :)

Mrs. Rob K said...

I can verify that he's killed many a spider in our home... really!!!