Have you all heard about my big celebrity crush, Viggo Mortensen, and his nude fight scene in the new movie Eastern Promises? I read an interview with him where he admits that the scene in the steam room where he brutally fends off attackers wearing nothing but skin will make for popular DVD-pausing moments when the movie goes to disc. If I didn't respect him so much as an actor, I would be trying as we speak to make a super-advance Netflix cue for that movie. Oh, who am I kidding. Respect him or not, my own morbid curiosity combined with his standing on my "List" demands that this movie eventually be rented and paused. Over. And over. Again.
We all have a "List", right? Remember the episode of Friends when the gang discussed their Lists, which was each person's fantasy listing of the 5 celebrities they would most like to fling with, and by putting them on the "List", their spouse/significant other had to forgive and forget should some miracle happen and the opportunity to fling with said celebrity ever present itself? In the episode, Ross wanted to put Isabella Rossellini on his list, which he went through the trouble of laminating, but chose not to waste a spot on her because she was out of the country or something. Later in the episode, he actually ran into her in the coffee shop, and tried to explain to her that she was on his list, so their flirtation was OK, but when he pulled out his little laminated card, she saw that she wasn't on there. Classic Friends.
For years now, hubby and I occasionally joke around about our own Lists. We know that we would be more likely to get struck by lightning, win the Powerball, and hit nothing but green lights all the way to work all in the same day than to ever actually meet any of these people, let alone have said person be so desperate as to want to make out with a complete stranger. But it's fun, and you can learn a lot about someone by who he chooses. Does he go straight for looks, or do personality and something close to a brain matter? Brunettes, or blondes? How thin is too thin, really? Do his crushes age as he ages, or will it always be the sweet young thangs?
The two I know for sure on Jason's current List are:
1. Halle Berry (She's held that spot for a loooong time, so that shows loyalty and, in my opinion, good taste.)
2. Beyonce (I have no idea what that shows.)
My List changes every so often, but the overwhelming type on my List looks something like this: thin, dark hair, strong jaw, funny. Not different at all from my husband, really, except that these people are famous. I definitely married my type.
Here is my most current group:
1. Jon Stewart
2. Bono (Though if he tried to woo me with "With or Without You", it would be more than my heart could take and I would pass out cold, and that would be the end of that.)
3. Viggo Mortensen (Preferably dressed as Aragorn, and with the Aragorn hair, but, ya know, I'm not picky.)
4. Jim Carrey (Don't judge me; this is my list, not yours.)
5. Christian Bale (A newcomer!)
Mr. Bale knocks off former perennial favorite Bruce Campbell, who I still love dearly but, because I have actually seen him in person twice at book signings, seems much more "real" than the others and thus not a good candidate for a fantasy list. David Duchovny also held a top spot for many years during the Mulder era, but I haven't seen him in anything for so long, and for something like this out of sight really is out of mind. Show me a rerun of an X-Files episode, though, and I feel a little blush coming on.
Whew. Is it hot in here?
OK, so I've had a lot of fun with this this morning. 'Fess up: who's on your list? Don't be shy! So many of you are friends of mine, and I'm dying to know. And, you know, drool.