Wonder Pets Are Killing My I.Q.

OMG. Ainsley is watching Wonder Pets. It is truly the worst of all the kiddie shows. As I watch it I can feel all rational thought and reasoning slip out of my head.

For the non-moms: Wonder Pets follows a troup of school-house pets (a guinea pig, chick, and a turtle) as they rescue animals in trouble. It's not traditional animation; they use still pictures of real animals and move their heads and limbs collage-like and animate the mouths to simulate their talking. And their singing. And oh my lord, the singing.

The character that really turns me into a mouth-breathing drooling idiot is Ming-Ming, the chick. It has a little speech impediment where it says all l's and r's as w's. This is cute for about 30 seconds. And then as it purposefully says things containing many r's and l's, I find myself wanting to put an ice pick in my ears.

There's really nothing taught in the episodes as far as I can tell, except for the vaule of working together and blah blah. In the one Ainsley is watching right now, the WP's are off to help a puppy that really has to pee and is stuck in his house unable to relieve himself outside. They're singing a little ditty right now with lyrics featuring the words "pee" and "tinkle" ad nauseum. I think I might cry. And Ming- Ming just sang, "I'm not suwe he can howd it much longew!" Oh, mercy.

Why not change the channel, you ask? Good question. Something weird happens to my brain when she watches this show and it's like a car crash...I can't look away. That's why I say it lowers my IQ. I seriously sit there with my mouth agape when this comes on, unable to figure out the complicated process of picking up the remote and changing the channel.

We don't watch it much as she's more of a Playhouse Disney girl, but on Saturday mornings our TV just seems to turn on to the channel where this is on. So here we are.

It's almost over, though. They just had their celebratory celery, and that wraps up every episode. Ming-Ming just hit us with a classic line: "Celewy always tastes gweat aftew a good pee!"

And...scene.